I cannot believe the amount of support that I get from complete strangers! I met a lot of you ladies through the forums and I feel inclined to call you "friends." The amount of support is just overwhelming.
I've been trying to write this post for a while now. I've made several attempts only to delete it for fear of coming off like an utter bitch. But here goes:
I don't feel as involved in the forums lately just because it's been too hard to keep re-introducing myself and telling my story. I know it's my fault for not speaking up, and I know most of the ladies on the forums now are so nice and sweet...but I've been there since 2008 (been actually TTC since 2007), and have watched so many people come and go. I feel in a totally different place than a lot of the newbies there now. So it's hard for me to relate anymore. I know all the supplements to take, all the tricks-up-the-sleeves, I know when and how to take my BBT, I know when ovulation is SUPPOSED to happen and when to take OPK's...but I just don't care after 3 years and 4 months. All those things won't help me ovulate so I've stopped fussing with that stuff (aside from the supplements. Those are neccessary.) Perhaps that is just me pulling away. I don't know.
BUT I DO know, the ladies that I have met there are such a great support group and a few of you, I feel very much like we need to be friends. Haha! But really, I just wanted to thank each of you that have continued to follow my blog and support me even though I've been absent from the forums.
I still have hope that I will get pregnant. The day I lose hope, is the day I pack it up and start the adoption process and being a new kind of hope. I'm just not ready yet. If I am truly honest with myself, I don't think I will be ready until we've tried everything...including *gulp* IVF. I have no idea how we will afford it if it comes to that, but I suppose we will figure something out.
For now, I'm just going to stay focused on my current cycle and stay hopeful that it just might work.
3 comments:
I totally understand what you mean. I haven't been trying for as long as you and haven't been on the forums as long (Aug 2009) but I already feel the same way. I feel like I hang around so that I can stay up on what's going on with about 6 people and any encouragement or advice I can muster, I give to the newbies along the way. Sometimes it's hard to be positive for other people's sakes though... okay, I've hijacked your blog and am stopping now. Love you Nessa!!!!
Yep here, here. Been going as long as Kelly too and at a different stage of existence now as compared to what I was when starting out. I think over time we gravitate towards those who are similar because of the struggles we experience together rather than being under the broader umbrella of "TTC". I haven't visited the old forum is a while but have been keeping up with my special pack on FB instead. Has actually been a great way of breaking down the walls even more and drawing us closer.
I just knew you ladies would know what I was talking about. I was so afraid of coming off like a jerk.
xoxo
Post a Comment