I am thoroughly enjoying feeling human and actually eating...though it's not much, it's still a hell of a lot more than I have been. I'm still feeling some of the aftermath of the last week, but I can deal with tummy aches and headaches a lot better than nausea.
Anyway, as far as where I'm at with my cycle, Aunt Flow is still not here. But this is one time that I am actually happy about that. I can't imagine going through the week I just did while on my period. That may have been more than a girl can handle.
So technically, my 4 month countdown has not started yet, but at this point in my journey, I don't care. My mindset has completely shifted from TTC to losing weight and getting healthy so our future babies have a healthy mom!!
As for the long haul, I'm not sure where we are headed after this break. But I take comfort in the idea of adoption if we can't conceive. I definitely have to work on my mindset before I switch to that direction. Adoption is a miracle of it's own. However, I think I would almost have to grieve the biological children we wouldn't be able to have in order to move forward with that. But still, knowing that we will be parents in some way or another gives me the strength to keep on truckin' through this mucky journey. I know the end result will be worth all the ups and downs we've been through.
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Funny you should mention that actually. While scouring the blog network, I came across the blog of a couple who were in the adoption process. One of the things she wrote about the suitability interview was that the first question they asked was "Have you greived the loss of your biological children?".
I think that question is an important one. It would be a huge thing to settle psychologically on not being able to have a child who is biologically your own and all the benefits that comes from carrying a child to birth.
Honestly, I hope you won't have to go through that process and that your growing healthy lifestyle is just that bit you need to make that baby of your own. xxxxx
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