Emetaphobia and The Big Weight Reveal (no pics yet, sorry!)

Wow...it has been the most horrific 10 days of my life. Ok...not really. BUT, they've been quite horrible, nonetheless...

I've been nauseous on and off the whole time. Last night was the final straw. Or is it "final draw?" Hmmm.. Anyway, I was up for a full 24 hours yesterday/last night feeling like I was going to vom. Many of you may be familiar with my phobia of barf. No one likes to barf...but my fear goes beyong the non-enjoyment of barfing. When I get nauseous, I get anxious because I get SO SCARED that I will throw up. But then the anxiousness makes me feel even more nauseous. Then my tummy starts growling which makes everything worse. On top of all that, I'm about to start my period...so big time cramps!! So all this just makes me so utterly miserable. I can remember every single incident from grade school on up where somebody barfed on the playground or on their desk. I even remember the exact day I last barfed, which was 8 years ago. And I remember the time before that, which was 12 years ago. The term for the fear of barf is called "emetaphobia." Sounds all scientificky. Er...something...

Anyway, I finally broke down and went to urgent care. They ran their tests, which all came back clean. Then told me it was most likely excess stomach acid, which totally makes sense. This same thing happened to me when I was a little girl. It lasted approxomately 2 or 3 weeks and ended only when a nurse offered some advice to have me eat a banana in the middle of the night. It worked!! The doctor just thought I was faking it.

The good part about the Urgent Care trip was the weigh in. I mean, I realize that number will probably go back up a little, but it was a whole hell of a lot better than the last time I was at urgent care last year. Are you ready? I'm going to be brave and post my starting weight and my current weight. I'm trying to come to terms with these numbers so perhaps announing them to the WHOLE WORLD will make me come to terms with them. Ok...here goes...

Starting weight: 209 (according to my scale at home) GASP!!! Yeah...my jaw dropped when I weighed myself for the first time after a few years.

Current weight: 177 (according to the Urgent Care scale) WOOOHOOOOO!!!!

I still have a ways to go, but who knew I'd be able to lose 30 pounds! My ultimate goal is in the 150's or 145, but I'm just working with small, more attainable goals for now. My Infertility Specialist said 180 would be good, and 170 would be even better so I am well on my way to 170. That's my next goal. I've been using SparkPeople to track what I eat and all that jazz.

Welp. That's all I got for now. I'm going to take a nap since I've been up for...a lot of hours straight.

kbye!!!