I read a quote this morning that totally spoke to me.
"Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and the fears you have overcome."
The beauty of quotes like this is it can be applied to different situations for different people. Or even different situations for the same person. If I had read this quote last year, I would have applied it to my fitness goals, and my body transformation. Reading it today, it means something else.
I'm almost ashamed to admit this, as I never thought I would care after getting pregnant, but watching my fit body and muscle dimples slowly disappear underneath this pregnant body has been a struggle. Some days, I put too much focus into the steps I took to get my body fit. What I need to be doing to remembering all the steps that went into creating this pregnant body!!!
7 years. Blood tests. Shots. Pills. 6 clomid cycles. 2 femara cycles. 2 modified clomid cycles. 5 IUI's. Metformin. Having people probing my lady parts monthly. Birth control. Giving up coffee and gluten. Losing 70 pounds. Endless nights of crying myself to sleep. Therapy. Sacrificing vacations to pay for treatments. Scheduled sex. And of course, IVF, which involved dozens of shots, egg retrieval, not being able to even be in the same room when my child was concieved, and travelling to Seattle for 2 weeks away from our home to have just a chance to make a baby. I have earned the shit out of this pregnant body.
Getting in shape was easy compared to getting pregnant. I need to focus on how hard I worked for THIS body!!!! This pregnant body that wants to eat all day long!!! I even need to embrace this stage where I just look chunky as opposed to pregnant! While my fit body is disappearing, I know it's still in there! And I know how to get it back!!! A fit body starts with the mind and I know that part of me is still very much in there, as I talk about working out and whatnot about every other post! Lol!
I wish I could say that it was easy for me to embrace the change In my body as I never ever thought it would be an issue while I was going through infertility. But it HAS been a struggle and I would be lying if I said otherwise. However, I DO know that it will be worth it, and I have known that from the moment I found out I was pregnant, regardless of how accepting of my body I am. But I really do want to embrace the change in my body...and I truly believe it will be easier the further along I get and of course, when I see my baby. But I would like to embrace every stage my body goes through!!!
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2 comments:
This is beautiful!
Your perspective on this is so fantastic! Focus more on how hard it took you to get this new body. You already know that when its all done you can get your muscley body back and it will be so easy compared to getting this rounder, super awesome, baby makin' body!
When you start having those moments where ya just aren't liking what you are seeing just sit down with a cup of tea and tell yourself "Look at that belly. Inside there is an actual human!!! I am literally growing a tiny version of me and my husband in there!!! I am not pushing buttons, pulling levers, setting timers, or anything to get my body to produce this tiny human. My incredible body is doing it all on its own. I am literally just sitting here, not doing anything, making a human!!! A human that one day will do incredible things!!! A human that in just a very short time I will push out and it will make sounds, and see things, and hold my finger!!! How totally cool is that?????"
You are a beautiful person!!!!
Thank you, Amber!!! I'm not sure if it's the hormones, but you comment totally made me cry!!!!! =)
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