So, I just need to do a mini-vent. It may be a hot topic for some. Since being pregnant, I get a lot of people pushing their advice on me...which, I expected. That's just what happens when you become pregnant, I think. But the thing that's been bothering me is the breastfeeding topic. It's nobody's business whether I choose to breastfeed outside of G and me. There is a holier than thou attitude about breastfeeding sometimes. Like someone's child is better than someone else's because they are breastfeeding.
Well, here's the thing. I understand the value of breast milk. I understand the benefits for baby and myself. And while it's no ones business, I do plan on breastfeeding to the best of my abilities, but the truth is, I have an issue that will make it difficult....not going to go into what that issue is because, again, it's not important and G and I are the only ones that need to know about it! It's already embarrassing enough as it is. I will try hard and stick with it but my OB told me it will be more difficult for me. So when people are constantly pushing me about breastfeeding, I start to feel self conscious and I shouldn't because I know kids that only breastfed for like 2 weeks and are just fine. Not only are they fine, but they are really smart kids!!! It's not like you can sit around and pick out which kids were and weren't breastfed. The truth is, we shouldn't be shaming mother's who use formula because we don't know their circumstances. And also, clearly, their child is being fed and taken care of. Some women don't want to be shamed for brrastfeeding in public, then turn around and shame other mothers for formula feeding. They might already be having a hard time with it, so why don't we just let parents make their own choices about how they choose to raise their babies...as long as they are being taken care of, it shouldn't matter.
**Also, before this gets skewed, I'm all about being able to breastfeed in public. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. That isn't what this is about. But thought I would clear that up before it gets misconstrued.**
I usually avoid topics like this, but it just bothers be because I am already getting comments about this. People don't know our circumstances and I will most likely have to at least supplement with formula and I don't need people making me feel bad about that. So how about we just all let each other be. No shaming either way. (Yes, I know!!! I sound a bit like hippy, but I mean, really...)
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5 comments:
A all should remember that some choices will be made by the baby. Some babies will switch back and forth between bottle and breast, making it easier for working Mom's. Some babes will not switch so easily. You were one of those Ness. For those babies formula is the only workable solution for employed mom's. Each situation as it's own set of special circumstances. And a lot of the time...very complicated. The important things are nourishment and love.
I think that in every parenting situtation like this it is so important to go what is right with you and your baby and your specific situation. I wish I had learned that from day one because it makes everything so much easier. If I could pass on one piece of advice that would be it. Screw everyone else and what they think you should do. Just do what is right for you and your baby. That is all. You are already a great momma for realizing this before having the baby. It took me a while to grasp it :)
I agree with your mom Nessa. Tennyson made the choice for me. I desperately wanted to bottle/formula feed after a month and she made it clear that that particular choice wasn't mine. It's best to go into motherhood with an open mind. No child nor situation is the same. Each decision is made during that individual circumstance. I don't doubt that each choice you make will be out of love and that's really what you need to make the right decisions.
Thank you, ladies! That's exactly how I am going into this whole motherhood experience. The breastfeeding thing seems to be such a touchy subject for some and I just don't think it should be!!!!
Nessa, mt heart really goes out to you. I was very clear that I would breastfeed and really looked forward to it. Jan arrived but my milk did not. Ten days later a little came through and dried up in a week. Jan would not be here today if it was not for formula feeding. I tried every thing but nothing worked. It hurt me for a long time but it also made me passionate about women being left to make their own decision without guilt.
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