IUI Day

Today was IUI day. I am going to try my damnedest to not let a bunch of negative thoughts seep into my mind.  I can already feel it happening.  All the doubt and shit.  But I REALLY just need to let myself be excited and hopeful.  I NEED to.  Because I need to be able to pick myself up and try again if this time doesn't work.  It's a little frustrating knowing that both Garrett and I have issues.  I'm not sure what his count was today, but he has a low count so it's a little unsettling knowing that even though we know I'm ovulating, we still have a smaller chance than normal. 

BUT, I need to focus on the fact that there is still a chance.  That is more than we have ever had.  I just have extremely mixed emotions at the moment. 

I am very excited, though.  Don't get me wrong!  I'm just having an inner duel with myself.  I'm trying not to ruin this high that I so very much deserve.  But I still can't get some of that frustration and doubt to go away.

And also, I feel like I need to note the fact that my support system is amazing.  There are sooooo many people out there rooting for Garrett and I, it brings me to tears just thinking about it.  It's shocking to me how many people care!!!  And those people that have to deal with me everyday, the ones that are there for the tears, for the ups as well as the very low downs, I can't even begin to thank them enough for toughing it out with me.  It's exhausting to be on this emotional rollercoaster, so to have people that are willing to be on it with you helps lighten the load a little bit.

I'm so overwhelmed with so much right now.

 Maybe I'm just tired.  I'm feeling every sleepless night of the last 2 weeks and hopefully, I will get some rest tonight and be back to being excited tomorrow.