I've about had it with the whole breastfeeding business. I've already been accused of "giving up" and/or being "uneducated" or "selfish" because I've voiced concern over breastfeeding. I thought it was the other way around. I thought that by being aware of my obstacles, it might be easier to deal with them. I've never said I wasn't going to try my damnedest. But if baby is not getting enough nourishment, I will not think twice about supplementing!
I just finished reading an article about PCOS and breastfeeding, published by Amy of the PCOS Diva (who I deeply respect) and in that article, it clearly states the hormonal issues that can affect milk supply. For me personally, taking pills to correct these hormonal imbalances is not worth it. Some may say that's selfish but I've spent the last several years of my life taking pills and ya know what worked the best? Exercise and eating in accordance to my PCOS.
Not only do I have the PCOS issue, but also I have flatter nips, which I know if definitely not a deal breaker, but it doesn't help the other issues.
Now, because I am talking about these issues does NOT mean I'm already throwing in the towel. It just means I want to be prepared. Mostly, mentally prepared. I've "failed" at conceiving a child over and over and over and over again until now. People act like if breastfeeding doesn't work out, you have failed as a mother and I don't want to "fail" at something else and not be ready for it. By accepting the fact that I may need to supplement or whatever happens, I'm ready to do what I need to do for my baby.
Who knows. I may have an excellent experience with breastfeeding with no issues whatsoever. I won't know until I am there. But I'm sick of people ragging on me about breastfeeding. G and I have discussed our issues with out OB. We will talk to lactation consultants and do the best we can. I'm perfectly aware that the first few weeks tend to be the hardest and that for a lot of women, breastfeeding takes time to get down. Even though I'm a first time mom, I'm not completely uneducated about the topic.
And while I'm all riled up, another thing I'm getting sick of is hearing "Oh, you just wait..." and then whatever the flying Eff comes after it regarding how dumb I am about what it entails to be a parent. Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gah! I'm SO SICK OF IT!!!!! No. I will not know all the dirty, grimey details of parenthood until I am there, but I am not completely naive to it, either. It's also like people are trying to make parenthood sound like it's the worst thing ever. "You just wait until baby has a blow out." "You just wait until you haven't slept for 7 days straight." You just wait until blah blah blah blah/" What about "You just wait until that baby grabs ahold of your finger for the first time." Or "You just wait until that baby snuggles you." Or "You just wait until you see your baby for the first time." What about those moments? Those are the moments I would like to think cancel out all the tough stuff.
I think the "You just wait..." phrase is the equivalent in pregnancy as "just relax" is in infertility. I'm beyond sick of it. It's like people just can't wait to try and burst my bubble. And when they tell me that about my workout plans after baby is here, Oh man! I swear, if you tell me I won't make my workout time one of my priorities, I will pummel you. Right in the neck. I WILL make it happen. It may take a bit to get my groove down again, but I WILL make it happen because I have lived my life the other way, and I am just a happier person with more energy when I am healthy. And I really want to be an example for my child. I'm not putting down anyone elses lifestyle. If you're happy, right on!!! ...I just know that I won't be happy unless I am healthy. So don't tell me I can't balance a child and my health.
Actually, do. Tell me it can't be done and then when I do it, I can shove it in your face.
LOL! Omg, who pissed in my water today. I am all sorts of wound up!!! This is where someone would chime in and say "Oh you just wait until those hormones are fully kicked in." Ugh.
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4 comments:
This is the reason I am only in one mothers group who are all very like minded. The judgement starts during pregnancy and continues.. .a lot of my mummy friends are also hidden on my news feed because they feel the need to broadcast in a passive aggressive way their parenting decisions. My feel in parenting is the same as religion. As long as it's ethical and safe, I don't give a rats tail what anyone does so long as they don't try and sell it to me or tell me that my is wrong or theirs is by far superior based on their extensive google research of parenting blogs. Lol. I have no great advice about how to deal with it still bugs the heck out of heck out of me. Although I do like to be blunt and say things like my son has severe multiple allergies and his welfare comes above anyone else's misplaced desire for me to breastfeed him. Going on formula was the best start to life for him. Insert exaggerated smile here. Lol
Nessa you do what you think is right, end of story. I hate how people back seat parent all the time. You are going to be an amazing mom and have your own struggles which will teach you, you don't need all this. As for the "you just wait" people, you have been waiting, seven years, so they can shut the hell up. People can be so insensitive sometimes, it makes me sick.
Oh God, the people who think they are qualified to give advice. Are you a Doctor, pediatrician, obstetrician, child psychologist? NO? Then why on earth are you giving advice?
I was a breast feeding mom and enjoyed the experience but I would never ever feel entitled to shove that choice down someone elses throat.
Amen, sista!!! I'm not entirely sure why people need to insert unsolicited advice about parenting decisions into others lives. Like you said, as long as baby is happy and healthy, why do people care so much?!
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