My support System

So the ultrasound was a flop today.  It felt like my soul was being crushed as she told me that there weren't any nice juicy follies.  I guess I was just totally spoiled with the last 4 cycles.  This whole journey is such a heart-shattering experience.  I sat the and tried to figure out what I did wrong this time.  My bestie reassured me that I am doing everything right.  And deep down, I know that.  But it still defies logic to me.  I read something today that said "Life is the way it's supposed to be.  Life is the way it is.  The way we cope with it makes the difference."  It was a good day to read that.

I'm so very luck to have the support system that I do.  First off, my hubby is amazing.  I can't even imagine how hard it must be to never be on the same page as your husband (which happens a lot in infertility it seems.)  But G is always right there with me.  100%.  I could not have asked for a better man.  Which is why it makes it so hard that we are struggling to have children together.  The world deserves a part of him to be passed on. 

Then of course, there are my parents.  They have had my back since forever and they are the reason we are going to be able to do IVF.  They are paying for pretty much all of it.  And they really WANT to.  I tried to tell them that it was just too much.  I can think of a million other things they could spend that money on...but they want to use it to help their daughter and son-in-law build their family.  It brings me to tears just thinking about the generosity!  That is something we will never be able to repay!  Or maybe repayment will come in the form of a grandbaby.

And then, there is my bestie.  I've never had someone so in touch with my pain that it bring them to tears just to see me hurting.  I really feel like she is just on the same wavelength as I am through this.  As I have felt a rift grow between a lot of my friends and myself (I've talked about this before and I take total responsibility for it, for isolating myself), I have only felt closer to my bestie through this and I don't think she would let me isolate myself from her for too long.  She is like a sister to me.  Never makes me feel bad for talking about infertility nonstop to her.  And I'm just so incredibly thankful for her.  I can only hope she gets half as much out of our friendship that I do!

And last but certainly not least, my amazingly awesome dogs!  Gaz and Grr are just great therapy for me.  The unconditional love that comes from dogs is irreplaceable.  And I am so glad we have them in our lives!