Motherhood

I did not enjoy being pregnant, like I said in an earlier post.  It took me a while to admit that because it made me feel like a horrible person.  But reflecting on it, I think it is justified.  I couldn't enjoy it because I spent the entire time worried sick. 3 months of it, I couldn't even distract myself because all I did was sit around and worry about it.  In the beginning I had a hard time accepting that it was even real...which made accepting mpthe changes in my body harder because I thought it would all be taken from me in a blink of an eye.

But...

Being in this side of it, I can honestly say it is MORE than worth every horrifying and unpleasant moment.  I kept saying it would be worth it during pregnancy...and I knew in my heart it would be.  But now I can say it for a fact.  IT IS WORTH IT!!!!!  I cannot believe I am a mom!!!!

It is hard. I am exhausted. But it is the best kind of exhausted ever.  We are all adjusting to this new life, including Mason.  We'll get into our groove eventually. We're just figuring it out right now. But Mason is absolutely amazing.  I look at my post partum body, and while I am excited to get fit and strong again, I am proud of this body. It held on to that baby.  It nurtured it and even though it needed a lot of help, it did it.  We made it!  I will forever be proud of my c section scar because something amazing came out of it!  My body is recovering nicely from growing a human and I am sooooooo very thankful to have had the experience..however traumatic it was.

That being said, I will be happy to be strong again.  I want to be a tough momma and be able to rough house, run around and play with little man! And also, I want my body to be ready for a sibling for Mason down the road.

I am loving being a mom more than anything else in this world!