Breastfeeding Lowdown

This video is from when Mason was just a few hours old.  He makes the most adorable noises when he sleeps sometimes!

I want to weigh in on breastfeeding not that I have officially been doing it (or attempting to) for almost a week now.  We all know how I feel about militantly pushing someone or in some cases bullying them about it.  Well, I had one lady that was fairly pushy about it at the hospital. I didn't really think much of it at the time because I was trying to make it work so I was really listening to her advice.

I used a nipple shield and breastfeeding is already difficult enough but with the shield, it was just one more thing to fumble around with while you're trying to get a hang on things as it is.  So we continued to fumble our way through breastfeeding and when it came time to go, the consultant handed me a little pack that contained various items in it.  One of those things was formula.  When she mentioned the formula, she had a really negative attitude about it saying "there is formula in there but you're not gonna want to use that. You can just toss that and use the bah." OK so yeah, I let that one slide at the time. She went through some information with us and talked about how amazing it is that our bodies just know what to do and know what's best for the baby.  I wanted to say, lady, my body doesn't know its ass from its elbow. I've needed medical help with everything pertaining pregnancy or a baby.  But, again, I let it slide off my shoulder's because I'm sure she didn't mean any thing by it but rather just very passionate about breastfeeding.

So fast forward through a couple very rough and dry days of breastfeeding at home with Mason. My colostrum seemed to be drying up and my milk was not coming in within the 24-48 hours that say it will. I began growing concerned that Mason was not getting enough to fill even his tiny stomach!  He had been so fussy and cranky.  Any time i put him up to a boob, he would latch for a few seconds and then scream and push my boob away. People say that breastfeeding is super tough, especially the first week so i chocked it up to that.

I tried to pump some of the colostrum into a bottle to feed Mason that way because clearly, he was having trouble. I tore my boobies/nips to shreds trying to do that but I was desperate to feed our son!  I even started bleeding from one of my nips.

Later that day, we went to change Masons wet diaper and when we looked in his diaper, there was this orangey color. We thought it was blood and began freaking out.  G called L&D and they assured us it is normal for baby's who are being breastfed and not getting enough.  It meant that baby is dehydrated.

I immedietly burst into tears.  I felt horrible.  Those things that the lactation consultant said that i brushed off came back to haunt me.  The little nugget about not needing formula. The line about how our bodies just know what to do.  I felt like shit.  I had even tried to prepare myself mentally for this sort of thing.  I really am trying to make it work. But mostly, I just felt bad that I was dehydrating my baby!!!

As I was sobbing uncontrollably, I texted my mom to warn her that everything was OK, but I was having a meltdown and crying really hard. She had to talk me through making formula.  I know part of my meltdown was exhaustion, but dang! I felt so horrible!!!!

So that night, we made Mason formula, even though that lady made it sound like I was poisoning my son. He was so much happier and so was I!  In the middle of the night, I woke up to boob the size of bowling balls (and equally as hard) and the front of my jammy shirt completely drenched!  Well. There's my milk.

I tried to put Mason to the boob several diffent times at different positions.  I think he was so frustrated from the days prior that he immedietly was put off. He reacted the way as he did before. He'd latch on, then scream and push the boob away.  So I have been pumping and bottle feeding.

It's been really nice not stressing myself out or beating myself up over the lack of straight-to-boob-feeding.  I know it's more work but I felt relieved that I could continue using breast milk and that I am producing a good amount of it, too.  I don't see anything wrong with formula feeding at all (as I've stated many times before) but it was my hope that I could do at least a few months of breastfeeding!

We did a couple days where I just didn't even try to breastfeed directly. I needed a break and so did Mason. We tried again today and he actually latched and breadfed for a long time!  Now I'm totally stoked because we now have the option of either bottle feeding or breastfeeding! I love that G will get to participate in feedings! We've been doing both bottle and boob today and Mason is happy all around!

That's all I got for today! Tomorrow, Mason is 1 week old! Crazy! But I plan on starting my post partum progress pics!  I'll post them on here and keep track of my progress here.  Obviously, o can't work out yet, but I have lots of swelling in my feet and legs, still have lots of water weight going, etc.  But it will be kinda neat to watch my body change. It's pretty scary right now...just to warn you. But if you are interested in seeing a true post patrum body, one that has been through the wringer, check back tomorrow or the next day.