Apparently, I have a lot to say!!

I've had lots going on, but I had computer issues (as in, I did not have a working one!).  But now that is resolved and I can write about a bunch of nonsensical things again!!!  Woohoo!!!

I'm throwing a few pictures in this update, just to make it interesting!  I will start off with my Halloween costume.  I was a little girl zombie.  I think I may have scared some children when I answered the door.  Oopsie doopsie!!!  Also, I must be in a good place right now (at least for now) because Halloween was not difficult this year.  It is ALWAYS difficult, ya know, because of all the cuteness running around!  And all the parents getting to take their hyped up children around!  But I was not sad AT ALL yesterday!  It was rather nice!  It must be because I have that little thing people call "hope."

Let's see....what else?  This is the dumb part about not being able to blog when you want to.  You forget everything you wanted to write about.  Hmmm...  Oh yes.  I wanted to write about the fact that even though a very big, intimate part is taken out of this baby-making business for G and I, we DO get to experience a cool aspect that most couple that conceive naturally do not.  Like we will get to see pictures of our baby(s) as an embryo.  The whole IVF process just blows my mind.  When you think about what is actually being done, it's amazing that it is even possible!!!  And I am so thankful we get the opportunity to even try it!

And speaking of possibilities...I have done a painting in the past of what infertility feels like.  It's basically a portrait of me sitting in a field of flowers and green grass.  But everywhere I am sitting, the grass has died and is all brown and I'm holding a dead flower.  Well, I decided I needed to balance that sad, hopeless painting out with a more hope-filled one.  And mostly, it was a visualization exercise for me.  I think I had lost all hope that getting pregnant was even possible.  I was just sort of aimlessly going through these cycles without ever really believing it could happen.  So I decided to do another self portrait...and make myself pregnant in it.  It's kind of silly, but I thought it might help.  I went all out on this one, too.  It's about 4 feet tall.  I hung it in our bedroom, right next to the fertility goddess painting that my bestie did.  And on the other wall right next to it is my inspiration board, with positive sayings, pictures, and my medals I've earned!  So now, every night when I go to bed, and every morning when I wake up, I am surrounded by positivity.  And as far as the painting goes, if I never get to experience pregnancy, I'll at least have this painting.  And if I do, I think it would be fun to take a picture of me next to it to see how close I was!!!  p.s. I'm nude in the painting, so just a warning.  You can't see anything, but if it bothers you, you might not want to scroll down anymore.


So here's the painting:

And here's my inspiration board:

All my meds came today.  I start Lupron next week on the 5th.  And in 2 weeks, I have my suppression check!  And if all goes well, in 3 weeks, I will be headed to Seattle!!!