Just Relax

Oh man.  The dreaded "just relax."  OH!!!!  That's what I've been doing wrong for the last 6 years.  I've been so worked up that it completely stopped my ovaries from functioning DESPITE numerous fertility treatments.  ALL I needed to do the ENTIRE time was relax.  Dang, do I feel like a dipshit. 

Fuck.

I know that's what I get for being so open about this infertility shit, but it still stings every time.  And I know people don't intend to be hurtful...they are just trying to help.  But it feels like the issue is being minimized.  Like they are saying you are doing something wrong.  It's MY fault I've been infertile thise whole time.  Ugh.

I know my other friends from TMP are reading that "just relax" comment on FB and probably gagging.  I'm refraining from saying anything back, because, like I said, I know people don't mean anything by it.  But it did cause some not so savory words to come out of my mouth in real life. 

Anywho.  I just took my last dose of clomid.  And I'm actually having a hot flash right now as we speak.  I'm so excited to be done taking that damn drug.  My bff has been having night sweats since I started taking clomid.  =)  I know it shouldn't make me happy, but it totally does.  We aren't really sure why it happens.  But I'm glad she is sharing in the hot flashes.

I go in on Thursday for an ultrsound.  I'm terrified and nervous!  Maybe if I "just relax," my ovaries will be perfect.