I feel like a pile of shit because I was with my bestie all day in Helena and all I did was cry. I feel selfish and like I ruined her day. She was having a kinect party tonight, but I didn't want to ruin that too. So I stayed home. I ended up crying myself to sleep and then napping for 3 hours. After I woke up, I decided to do some painting. Now it's 1 a.m. and I'm wide awake. I feel a little better though. But the hot flashes are starting. It's day 1 of clomid.
On another more positive note, I'm still gluten free and my last ultrasound looked pretty damn good!!! They keep looking better and better! That just reinforces all the changes I've made. And will continue to make. The length that I've gone in order to be able to have a family in an awesome positive side to this whole infertility shiz. Regardless of how this all turns out, I know these changes are permanent...whether I get to experience pregnancy or not.
We are doing Insanity again. Starting tomorrow. I'm excited. The timing couldn't be better. Doing these medicated cycles, it seems to help having something physical to exert my energy into. So I'm stoked to be starting that again. I took some before pictures again for this round. And just for fun, I put them next to my before pictures the last time I did Insanity...which was 1 year ago. It's pretty cool to see the difference! It's pretty awesome the progress I've made in just 1 year.
2 comments:
You look amazing! I'm sorry you are having a hard time - of course you are! You have been through so much and the fact that you have taken the opportunity to better yourself during the whole process is so impressive and admirable. I hope you aren't waiting much longer and you say bye to that super flat belly for a good 9 months. :)
Thanks, Kelly! I usually come to my blog as a last resort to get out all my thoughts so I feel like if you just read this blog, I sound like I am miserable ALL the time. I'm not, but for some stupid reason, I never feel like blogging when I'm in a good mood! lol. But ah well. Blogging is good therapy when I'm upset. And, yes, I will be happy if my belly starts to go the other way for 9 months. Despite all my frustrations, I still have more hope now than I have in a looooong time!!! Thanks for still reading and commenting, lady! <3
Post a Comment