I hardly feel I have to update on this cycle. And really, the title says it all. I somehow knew this time. I mean, it wasn't just doubt. I KNEW. And I was basically sobbing everyday multiple times a day for the whole 2ww. But now that it's over, I am ready to move on. This was the first cycle that I feel myself ready to be done. I actually plopped to my knees right in the middle of doing the dishes, and pleaded with God. I told him I was tired and to just please let it work, even though I knew at that point that it hadn't.
But really, I am tired. I feel like I've been through the wringer...over and over again. I asked my fertility specialist what the long term plan was. She told me 6 clomid IUI's and 6 IUI's using injectibles. I can tell you right now, I'm NOT doing that many IUI's. I've done 3 with clomid so far and I just don't see me doing 9 more IUI's. It's just NOT happening. I'm too exhausted for that. Maybe if we were a year or 2 in, but we are SIX years in and I can't hack that many more, emotionally.
I am taking a month off (well, 3 weeks) so I can participate in the Spartan Race, and then it's back to business. But we are leaning towards the injectibles. But we will take some time to evaluate and consider what to do. Until then, I'm going to enjoy these 3 weeks! I have some kind of race all 3 weeks, so I definitely will have something to keep me busy!
So to sum up, failed cycle, break, then hopefully injectibles towards mid-May.
2 comments:
Nessa, I hate this for you. It's not fair and you have worked so hard and deserve a baby.
I definitely agree with not continuing with clomid. It's obviously not working so I don't see the reasoning in exposing your body to it and wasting time before going onto Injectables. Just remember (I'm sure you're already doing this) that this is YOUR body and you are your best advocate. If this doctor isn't ok with what you want to try, find a different one who will listen to what you are wanting.
Thinking about you and can't wait for you to kick some Spartan Ass :)
Thanks Sam!!! Luckily, my specialist is amazing and one of the most caring people I've met in the medical field. She has already told me that if I want, I can skip to the injectibles. So I think that is what I plan on doing!!! Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers, Sam! I sincerely appreciate it!!!loutish
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