Sunday, January 6, 2013

Need a New Plan!!

It's about time to call and see what the plan is.  I have 1 week left of BCP left of this packet.  My IF specialist might not have had time to look things over yet since she's probably been on holiday break.  But I will call anyway.  Hopefully, I can start a cycle.  But we'll see what she has to say about the hubby's stuff.

I feel pretty emotionally recuperated from the last few go-rounds to get the ball rolling again.  I'm still struggling with making future plans, though.  And every time I see a mother have a little moment, no matter how small it is, with her kid, my heart sinks a little bit and I almost have to look away.  But, I suck it up because I can't live my life in a cave and I figure, eventually, it will get easier.  I love all my mom friends dearly and I can't just shut them out because it's sometimes hard to see all the stuff that I want sooo badly in my life.  Honestly, it's probably good for me because it reinforces just how badly I want a family.

Christmas was pretty rough at times.  I tried not to cause a scene or make it about me, though.  When I felt the tears coming, I just went into the bathroom to regain my composure.  My brother noticed, though, and made sure I was ok.

I'm hoping I can do another cycle after this week.  I feel like I've had enough breaks since starting all this shit 6 years ago.  Now that my ovaries have potential, I don't want to break for long.  I know it's good for me, but I just feel like I've been in my waiting time.  It's time for action!!! 

1 comment:

Kelly said...

I hope she gives you the go ahead. I meant to comment on your hubbies issue weeks ago. I have several friends who had that issue, did surgery to repair and had completely normal sperm counts after! Just a thought... Not sure you need to go there yet or what research you had done on it.

Always thinking of you!!!!!!!!