Oh, metformin, I hate your guts.

Sometimes I feel this "implantation bleeding" is all a myth. I don't know the number of times I've gotten excited because a little spotting just might mean I'm pregnant, only to be let down. It's almost like a cruel joke.

Anyway, still enjoying the break but I think I will be ready to start trying again after this round. So please send good thoughts and prayers to my ovaries and tell them to behave so we can actually have one more shot before the end of the year. I've got about 2.5 weeks left of BCP.

And to be honest, I've been awful about taking my metformin, but good lord, I HATE the side effects. And I've also noticed that it makes it a lot more difficult to have a job while your adjusting to metformin side effects. I'm a little frustrated because I was already adjusted before my gallstones, and now I have to start all over. And even the 500mg of metformin is killing me. I was up to 2000mg before and doing ok. ugh. I'm just frustrated with it and don't even want to bother.

I know that metformin is supposed to also help with weight loss, but I'm doing just fine on my own sheer willpower with that. In the past, it did not regulate my cycles. Soooo, what else is it supposed to do for me?

Apparently, I'm a little crabby about this metformin deal. Perhaps because of the summer I had, the last thing I want to do is make myself have to poops and feel like crap again. I wish I was one of the few that don't get any side effects from it. But....alas, I am not.

I'm hoping with enough determination, maybe through diet and exercise, I can control the pcos sans metformin. I fully admit, before, my diet was awful. I KNOW I wasn't eating good, which is why I gained all the weight. But if I can just keep going the way I am...eating balanced, eating high protein, but still getting enough carbs and everything else I need, plus the exercise, maybe...just maybe, I can kick pcos' ass all by myself.

The exercise is engrained in my routine. However, the diet is a constant day-to-day struggle. But just knowing this pushes me to make better decisions. I want to have a good quality of life later on. I have women who come to Curves who are quite heavy and tell me that they wish they had started at my age. As we get older, our metabolism slows and it can be very difficult to lose weight, and some of these women have a long ways to go. I look up to these women for taking the initiative to do something about it, rather than giving up. And they also show me how important it is to start taking care of myself early in life. As a Curves Coach, sometimes it feels like I learn more from these women than they do me.

One of the hard things about being a Curves Coach is watching women commit to the workout at least 3 times a week, but then I know they aren't changing their eating habits at home. And when they do their weigh and measures each month, they get discouraged. Just like any other exercise program, Curves won't work if you're not making changes to your eating habits. Even though my job is just a minimum wage paying part-time job, I genuinely care for and hope for the success of all these women.

Geez. I kind of got off track there. Ha! Anyway, I'm gonna go have myself some breakfast. BYE!